Cold Skin
by Bastille1
Summary: Daryl: "Something inside me tied up with the thought of never seeing her again, and although I would never admit it to anyone, it made me fucking scared. Scared that I, after all I'd been through, could care so much for a person." - My first fanfic. Tell me what you think! :)
1. Missing

**Daryl**

"That's Carols knife." I starred at it for a few seconds, thinking she may have held it for the last time, before I cleansed it on the walkers' blue prisonuniform. I stood up, trying not to think the worst. She could still be alive. This didn't mean anything. She could've escaped. Still the pictures ran through my head like bees I tried to wave of.

"Oscar, take Carl back to the cellblock," I said without looking at any of them. "I'll go on a lil' longer." We could hear a soft metal sound, coming from a door close by, but no one gave it so much as a glance.

"Daryl…" Oscar looked confused at me. "She's dead. She couldn't have outrun all these walkers. If she'd still been alive, we would've found her by now." Something in his words made sense. At the same time they didn't. Not for me.

"I'll go on." My words landed hard, maybe a little harder than the meaning was. Oscar just nodded. Carl looked strangely at me. He had stood by the wall the hall time, not saying a word. Now he went silently, following Oscar back the way we had come.

When the footsteps grew into a soft echo and I heard a door slam shut, I couldn't hold it in anymore. My back leaned into the cold prisonwall, and I dropped exhausted to the floor. The prison was in total silence, only interrupted by the metaldoor clinking. Again and again. I closed me eyes, and slammed the knife to the ground. Not caring if all the walkers in this goddamn prison heard me.

She was gone. I should have been there. When the walkers came. I should have been there the whole time, protecting her. Watching over her. But I didn't, and know she was gone. Like all the others. Once again I slammed the knife to the floor in anger. I couldn't allow myself to lose it, but I was damn close. My heart beat like a thousand drums. Harder and faster.

I slammed the knife to the wall, and looked around for something I could take the anger out on. The metaldoor was in fact right in front of me. And the door was still clinking; it couldn't be opened because of a walker's body in front of it. I sprung to my feet and kicked the door with all my power, but it only continued. I walked back and forth, breathing hard. Trying to control myself. Then I placed the knife between my teeth, dragged the body away from the door, and grabbed the knife in my right hand, opening the door with my left, ready to strike the walker. Only it wasn't a walker.

My arm became motionless in middle of the movement, in company of the rest of my body. In the dim light, I could make out grey, short hair before her head leaned into the sun. Her blue, heavenlike eyes became bigger as they adapted to the light, and she could make out my face.

"Carol!" I burst out, almost losing my voice. I bend my knees and reached out for her face. She closed her eyes by my touch, and then I knew she was not hurt. She was not a walker, and she was sure as hell not dead. It was relief I saw written on her face.

Her chest moved fast, and her breath sounded heavy. Still she managed to whisper something that will stay with me forever.

"You took your time." I didn't know what to say. Once again her strength and mind amazed me. No one would ever have said that, except Carol. Still after days missing, she would crack of a joke like that. I guess she had grown quite allot since the outbreak. Losing her husband, and then her child.

I moved closer and scooped her up in my arms. She put her hands around my neck, and leaned her head heavily on my shoulder. As she closed her eyes, I made a promise to myself. If I ever lose her again, I will never stop looking for her until I find her. Dead, or a walker. Or alive.


	2. Observations

**Carol **

When I woke up, I couldn't remember where I was. My eyes were focused at the white ceiling where the painting was coming off… and then it all came back to me. Walkers had split up the group, and T-Dog had… When I remembered how he died, my stomach turned and twisted, and I was sure I was going to be sick. I tried to move my head outside the bed, but a sudden headache forced me to go back to opening position.

"Carol!" A girl's voice almost made me jump. "You're awake." I heard the sound of a chair being pushed back, and footsteps against the floor, before Beth took her place at the side of my bed. I didn't feel sick anymore, but my stomach was just a tied knot I didn't know how to undo.

"How do you feel?"

"T-Dog… He didn't make it." My voice is barely carrying my words.

"We know." Beth's face went so quickly from excitement, to sorrow that I couldn't stand looking at her anymore. The expression on her face made me feel even worse.

We sat in silence for a while, not saying a word. I thought about T-Dog, and how he had given his life for me. How he must have suffered when they bit him, over and over again. The pictures that ran across my mind, was interrupted by a soft clinking-sound I couldn't place. It came closer until it stopped almost right behind me.

"Beth, how is… Carol!" Hershel's voice sounded joyful when he realised I was awake, but when I saw him, it didn't match his face. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"Like a train ran over my head," I said hoarse, with tears blocking my sight. But I was smiling, I was glad to see him. I was glad to see both of them. Thanks to two of the best men on this earth, I was still alive. Now there was only one of them left.

I got up from bed and gave them both a hug. My body was aching, but I didn't mind. I was back, and still alive. That was a blessing that made me hope for the future. Just then, Daryl decided to pop up in my mind for some reason. I frowned by the thought of him, but suddenly I remembered his face when he found me. There was something in his eyes I didn't catch then, but looking back, I remembered. It was shock, relief, but also some kind of affection. In the way he had touched my cheek, and how he gently lifted me off the floor. Did I hit my head really bad, or was I right about my observations?


	3. Confusion

**Daryl**

I stood guard, looking out from the watchtower where I had full view over everything going on. It was late afternoon, and I was barely standing. The hours had been long and boring, and the hot day made me even sleepier. Luckily, I was soon to switch with Glenn. Not much had happened that day, and my crossbow remained untouched. Almost a pity.

My mind did a lot of thinking though, and I kept thinking back on the moments before I found Carol. I would never admit it to anyone, but I almost had a breakdown just then. I thought I had lost her. I thought I had lost both of them. Carol and Sophia. I thought that I had failed. Failed to protect them. I didn't know why, but when Sophia went missing I took the task of finding her. Bring her home safe. It wasn't like I had liked her, or even talked to her, but it made me feel like I had a purpose. That every day had a purpose. And when we found her a walker I felt angry, disappointed, and even sad.

What had happened today, made me confused. My feelings had almost torn me apart, thinking Carol might be dead. Did I care about her? Or was it just me, disappointing myself that I was upset about? I couldn't tell.

Suddenly I heard footsteps in the staircase. '_bout fuckin' time_, I thought. _Glenn's late._ But it wasn't Glenn that had turned up. It was Carl.

"Where's Glenn?" I asked immediately.

"He and Maggie haven't come back, and they let in a woman. She has their supplies."

"_What?_" If they'd let in someone I should've seen it. Did I fall asleep during my watch? I couldn't remember.

"Just come! Dad's asking for you."

We ran down the stairs from the tower, and into the cellblock. Rick, Hershel, Beth and Carol stood together talking. The discussion sounded heated, but when I entered the room the group split up, and Rick came walking towards me at once.

"Something has happened to Glenn and Maggie, and there's this woman. She knows. She had their supplies. She's shot, but not bitten. We should interrogate her now."

"Where she at? She said somethin'?" I asked.

"No, she's unconscious."

"We should help her. She's bleeding out, Rick!" Carol almost sounded frantic, her eyes wide and blue. I just realised she was here, up and going. It surprised me after what she'd been through. She didn't look well. Her face was pale, and the dark curves beneath her eyes made her look tired and ill. I wanted to tell her to go to bed, but her eyes were focused on Rick, and I kept my mouth shut.

**Carol **

Both me and Rick stared at Daryl, waiting for him to say something.

"Hershel or Carol, go patch her up," Daryl said finally. I moved even before his words came out of his mouth.

"Wait." Rick blocked my way simply by holding an arm out, and I crashed into it. I gave him a surprised look. "We must figure out what she knows now. She's…"

"Rick!" Daryl snapped. "You ain't thinkin' straight. She's unconscious, and if she's bleeding out, she won't be able to tell us nothin'. Go fix her up." I watched as Rick's arm lost its power, and fell to the side of his body. He looked defeated, and I could tell by the expression on his face that he knew Daryl was right, and that he was angry, not with Daryl, but with himself. Lori's death was really changing him. He was not the same person, and apparently he couldn't keep focus on what was really important.

After fixing her up and interrogating the woman they now knew as Michonne, they'd learned that Glenn and Maggie was taken capture by someone in a town called Woodbury. It was decided that they would go after them first thing in the morning. I didn't like the thought of it, but knew it was necessary.

We sat by the fire outside watching the sunset. There were no talking, and it began to dawn on me that this upcoming mission was one of the most dangerous the group had ever done. They were about to take on a town. In the corner of my eye, I could see Daryl walking the perimeter by the fence. He looked restless, and something made me think that standing watch was the last thing on his mind.

I got up and walked towards him. He didn't recognize me joining him, but I could see that his body tensed even more by my presence. I haven't talked to him since he saved me, and I thought it was about time.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"How are you? You're looking stressed out."

"I'm fine." His eyes narrowed at me, but he just kept walking. I knew he lied. Something was bothering him, and I don't think it was the walkers moaning outside the fences he was worrying about. I decided not to say anything. If I pushed him in any way, he would get all fired up. He was predictable that way. We walked in silence for some time. I kept some distance, but couldn't help giving him a few glances. He was a fine man.

"I'm glad you're back."


	4. Cold Skin

**Daryl**

I couldn't wrap my mind around what I just said. _I'm glad you're back?_ What the hell was that?It hadn't sounded like me either. My voice was too soft, too weak. Yet I realised it was the truth, and that I was glad she was back. I didn't want her to know, but now she did.

It didn't look like she reacted to my confession though. She just smiled and said: "Yeah, me too." For a while we just walked together. Carol was pleasant company. I had always liked having her around. She didn't have the need to fill every silent moment with meaningless talk. Sometimes, we could just enjoy each other's company in silence. At first it had been awkward, but now I didn't mind. Didn't mind it at all.

I started thinking about tomorrow, and that I would have to leave her again. There was no guarantee that I would be back, or even alive after this saving-mission. Something inside me tied up with the thought of never see her again, and although I would never admit it to anyone, it made me fucking scared. Scared that I, after all I'd been through, could care so much for a person.

"Thank you." Her words broke off my thought so suddenly that I could almost here it snap inside my head. She stopped, and when I turned to look at her, she laid her arms around my neck. For a second I was so astonished, I didn't make a move. But when I felt her soft body against mine, I couldn't think of anything else. I pulled her close, and wrapped my arms around her waist. And then it was over. She took a step back and smiled at me, and I realized her cheeks were slightly redder than they used to.

"See you, inside?"

"Yeah." I watched her turn around and walk back to the others. They had begun to move inside. It was getting cold.

**Carol**

The sun went down behind the treetops, and before we could even blink, it was pitch-dark outside. I realised my talk with Daryl had sent my emotions on a trip. I had always liked him. He could be rude, threatening and really short-tempered, but he wasn't really like that. I could see through his mask; it was just his way of dealing with things. While hugging him I had felt all warm and shaky, and my heart had started pounding really fast. It didn't make any sense. I had always seen him just as a friend. I couldn't ruin it. Not now. Then I realized I could, after all. They were going on a dangerous mission tomorrow, not knowing what it would bring. No one knew if anyone would survive… _Jesus, Carol! _I snapped out of it. I couldn't allow my self to think that way. Of course they were coming back. They always did. It didn't change what I thought I'd just felt though. I just shook my head confused, and walked inside.

I joined the others inside. There wasn't much talking. Everyone knew what tomorrow would bring, and no one looked forward to it. I sat down beside Beth and Carl and sew on some old pants I knew needed a few stiches. I was so obsessed by my work and my thoughts that I didn't recognize the time passing by. When I was about doing the last stich, Hershel came towards me and said:

"We're going to bed now, Carol. 'night."

"'night," I answered slightly puzzled. I went to find some scissor I could cut the thread with, but found nothing except a knife laying around. _That will do, _I thought as I grabbed it. Right when I was about to cut it, I heard I voice so close that I jumped out of my skin of surprise. The knife slipped and dug into my underarm. I lost the knife to the ground, and let out a gasp of shock and pain.

"Carol?" Daryl's rough voice came from the dark. He sounded worried.

"Daryl, I need a light and paper. Hurry!" I tried not to sound frantic, but I knew it was bad. Although I held my arm in a chokingly tight grip above the wound, blood streamed down my wrist, and it hurt like hell. I just hoped I could fix it by myself. Daryl did as he was told, and came back less than a minute later with a candle and a handful of paper in his hands.

"O shit!" he blurted when he saw all the blood. "I did that?" I let out a tiny laughter in the tension of the moment. "Eh…well, you kinda did." Even though I tried at a playful smile, he didn't look very happy. Now that I saw the wound in the light, it wasn't half as bad as I thought. The cut was deep, but not very long. A few stiches would fix it up.

"Could you reach med some thread? Thanks." I tried to begin stitching it myself, but I couldn't make the needle through the skin. "Eh… I think maybe you'll have to do it." He looked straight at me, no emotions showing on his face. But he hesitated. "Maybe we should just wake up Hershel," I said. I made a move, but he grabbed my arm.

"I'll do it. Sit down." We sat down on the floor leaning against the wall. I laid my arm in his lap and watched him closely as he took the needle into his hands. His rough fingers were quivering just a little as he stuck the needle gently into my skin. The feeling of the cold metal was uncomfortable, but I couldn't overlook his hand resting on my arm. His skin was cold against mine, but not unpleasant. I liked the feeling of it.

Before I could think of anything else, he removed it. He was done. Four stiches were all it took. I turned my head to thank him, but the words got stuck on my tongue. His face was so close. I could feel his warm breath on my hands, and my arms went numb. For a second I was paralyzed by his presence. He turned to look at me, and his eyes glimmered in the dim light. His hand fondled my wrist carefully, like he was afraid he would hurt me. He leaned forward and put his hand on my cheek as his lips touched mine.


	5. Losing Her

**Daryl**

She didn't try to stop me, actually she moved so her body faced mine and leaned closer. I hesitated just then. Her warm breath drew me in, and her lips trembled slightly against mine. Her whole presence made me feel all warm and excited, but something wasn't right. She was so small and vulnerable in my arms. If I wanted her, I could take her. But I stopped myself. I didn't want to hurt her.

My hand dropped from her face, and I stood up without looking at her. I walked determined back to my cell, and stopped in the middle of the room staring at the white wall making grimaces. '_The hell just happened?! _I started pacing the ground as silently as I could. Didn't want to wake the others. _What the fuck was I doin'? That shit just ain't right. That's Carol for fucks sake! _I lost track of time, but it felt like ages before I was calm enough to sit down on my bed, resting my face in my hands. On exactly that moment I realised that that had been my last chance. A few hours from now I would be gone, maybe never coming back. And I wanted her. I really did, but I just couldn't bring myself to take the next step.

I removed my hands from my face, and looked up. My body froze with the sight of her. She stood in the entrance to the cell, looking like a beautiful ghost. Her expression was calm, determined, but in her eyes I saw a glimpse of fear. I hadn't heard her coming. Maybe I was underestimating her after all. If she could sneak up on me, she could probably sneak up on anyone.

I stood up slowly, never taking my eyes of her. She took a step closer, and then another one until we were just the length of an arm apart. For a second we just stood there not saying a word. I certainly didn't know what to say. I wondered what she thought, but by the sad expression in her eyes I kind of knew.

"You're leaving…" Her voice was just a whisper, but I heard the trembling, and I saw the crack in her gaze.

"That's why I ain't doin' this. I don't want-…" I broke off. It didn't sound like me at all. She did something to me, just by being there. The moment the words passed my tongue, I regretted. She didn't say a word. She just looked down at her shoes, nodded, and turned without looking at me.

**Carol**

In a way I understood him. He didn't want to make it complicated. Not now before he left. But I realised now that it was already complicated. That just by the few word exchanged tonight, we both was at an understanding.

I was so caught up in the moment, and by my own thoughts that I didn't hear the noises behind me. The cellblock should have been empty, and safe. In this new world of apocalypse, we learned always to be on guard, always to be cautious and sleep with one eye open. Somehow the time in this prison had made me more relaxed. I didn't fear the world as much behind these bars and fences, and that's why I didn't recognize the groaning behind me before I could feel his cold breath in my neck. I turned with a shock that swept through my body, and left my throat in such a pain that I couldn't get a sound past my lips.

The walker was a tall man with rugs of a former prisonuniform. His mouth was twitched in a sick kind of halfsmile, that maybe would have been charming if he didn't was a walker. He limped forward just one step from grabbing my arm, and his dirty hands lifted to grab, to scratch, to consume my flesh, like with so many others.

Just before he reached me I thought about the knife that I had cut myself on earlier.

_Yes!_

My hand plunged down in the pocket of my jeans and I drew the knife, but I wasn't quick enough. His hands were all over me. I couldn't see, and I lost my footing, and felt his weight crush my bones as we landed with a deep _thump_ on the concretefloor. But by a miracle somehow the knife had penetrated his chest. He still moved, but I could hear the echoes of boots against the ground, and the next moment the walker was lifted away from me. Someone took the knife from my hand and buried it in between the eyes of my attacker.

"Carol! You okay?" Daryl helped me up in sittingposition and examined my body. He lifted, turned and twisted my arms searching for scratches and bites, and I searched with him. His hands ran down my shoulders, my upper body, and my legs hunting for blood, but we found nothing. When we finally stopped, looked at each other and realised we wouldn't find some, we both took a deep breath of relief.

Daryl sure didn't sit around. He got up, and began walking the cellblock. Each door and entry was checked twice. He walked the walls, the upper cells were no one slept, and even the storeroom, but he found nothing. While I watched him walk, I was surprised no one had been woken by our loud voices. It didn't seem to affect Daryl anyhow. His actions made as much noise as a group of wildhorses running from a predator.

"Daryl…" I tried when I passed me for the fourth time the last ten minutes. He didn't answer. "Daryl!" I said louder when he didn't even turn around.

"How did it get in, hm?" His voice was heavy of anger. I didn't answer. He kept walking.

"Daryl," I said after a while. "Stop." He came towards me, but didn't look at me. I took a step to the right, so he had to face me. When it didn't look like he was about to listen. I grabbed hold of his arm. "Daryl, just stop!" He pulled his arm back with such force that I almost lost my balance, and slammed his palms against the wall. It sounded like a gunshot ripping the silence within the prisonwalls. For a moment neither one of us said anything.

"Carol? Daryl? What's going on?" Carl stood in the entry of his cell looking at us with tired eyes. His voice was so weak of sleep that I at first suspected him of sleepwalking, but it looked like he realized the situation when I answered:

"It's nothing, Carl. Go back to sleep." He nodded, and disappeared back into his cell. By a miracle he hadn't noticed the dead walker on the floor outside my cell.

Daryl still leaned against the wall with his forehead planted in the concrete. I walked over and leaned to the wall beside him.

"Yanno when you were gone…" His voice was so low I barely caught the words. Still I somehow could feel his oppressed feelings of anger and affection.

"Yeah?" He shook his head.

"Never mind. I just…I can't lose you again."


	6. You're not sleeping

**Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for reading. This is the last chapter. Sorry for not posting lately. I couldn't deside how to end this story, but I hope you all like it! :)**

**Daryl**

I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I needed her to know. So I just burst it out. _I can't lose you again. _The words rang inside my head like an echo, and I couldn't look at her. I could barely breath. How was she going to respond?

She was silent for a long time. The air was so tense it almost strangled my lungs. Why didn't she say something? I was tempted to glance at her, but to afraid of what I would discover in her eyes. So I waited. Finally I heard something. A soft sound, I think it was her lips moving, but not a word passed them. _She must have changed her mind,_ I thought to myself. Somehow I felt relieved, but I could feel something break inside me as well.

When I was sure she wouldn't speak, I turned and looked at her, certain of my judgement of her silence. The look left me stunned, and for a moment I could only stare at her.

"Are you crying?" I asked out loudly, without thinking of any of the sleeping people laying around in the cells. I hated that shit.

"Daryl…" She broke off and tried to restrain her sobbing. "I…" She shook her head. Her voice was trembling under her breath, and she couldn't continue. I did the only right thing I could think of, and laid my arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. She leaned heavily on me, and tightened her hold of my body. Awkwardly I began rubbing her back, trying to make her feel better. Somehow I think it might have helped. Her sobbing stopped after a while, and she released me from her embrace.

"You okay?" I said, while she dried her face with her shirt. She just nodded. I didn't know what to do next. My arms grew cold again by her distance, and the wet spot where her tears had fallen on my shirt was almost faded. Somehow I felt empty, or like something missed. For a few seconds I thought it was just a passing feeling, but then I realised it was her. It frightened me more than I could tell, but it triggered me even more.

I placed a hand on each side of her face and kissed her gently on her lips. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable with the beard I'd grown lately. It must have rasped against her skin, but it didn't seem to bother her. Once again she put her arms around me, and once again I felt whole.

**Carol**

The touch of his lips was surprisingly soft. He waited for a response, I could tell. My hands felt their way up around his neck, and my lips moved against his. He pulled me close until the point there wasn't an inch of my body that wasn't touching his. I breathed heavily, nearly with the speed of my racing heart. He grabbed my thighs, lifted me of the floor and carried me into his cell. The darkness embraced us like an old friend. I could barely see the structure of his form. _Good_, I thought. It had taken courage to come back to him after he'd left me. This was even worse, and with daylight from the windows, I don't think I could've done it. But even though I was nervous and frightened, the thoughts were only a lonely, grey cloud on a sunny day. This was what I wanted. I wanted him.

His lips never seemed to leave mine, and my hands started unbutton his shirt. The clothing fell to the ground and I felt my way down his upper body. My first thought was that I had pictured him without hair on his chest, and then I thought: _What?! I've not pictured his upper body! _Then I realised: _Yes, I have. _But I liked it. I liked the feeling of it. He may be slightly younger than me, but he was real man. No doubt about that.

The air inside the cell got more heated for every second passing by. I grabbed hold of him, turned him around and pushed him down on the bed. He let out a small shout of surprise, but soon went silent as I sat down on his lap and kissed him eagerly. I loved the feeling of his beard against my skin. The way it stung me, like it wanted me to back away, only made me want more. His hands tugged at my t-shirt, and I had to break off the kiss to get it over my head. By then we were both gasping for air, but when his fingers found out how to unlock the bra, we fell down on the bed, tangled in each other's arms.

After, we didn't say much. He'd turned his back to me, but I was almost certain he didn't sleep. The air was too tense, and as time went by and the light began to creep through the windows, I knew for sure. His shoulders were pulled up under his ears, and even though I didn't see the rest of his arms I could imagine that they lay across his chest, like he was cold.

The light revealed something else, although I had suspected it for some time now. He had scars all over his back. Some were just cuts that didn't look so bad, but most of them looked like they had come from a belt, or some other object that could be used as a whip. I had a sudden urge to touch him, to touch the scars, but I was afraid he would be mad. I was ashamed, but I was even afraid that he might hit me.

After a while I gathered some kind of courage I snuggled closer to him, and traced one of the scars from his right shoulder all the way down to the small of his back. He didn't say a word, he didn't even move. Nothing could tell me if he really had registered that I'd touched him. And then I kissed him. The scar. I have never experienced anything like it, but when goosepumps started to appear on his skin, a burning lump got stuck in my throat and I was afraid I'd burst out in tears again. But I didn't.

"Can't a man get some good ol' sleep, huh?" Daryl growled softly.

"You're not sleeping."

For a moment I thought he wouldn't answer, but then he turned to face me. His eyes were only two dark cracks in the dim light, and as I stared into them, I got a strange feeling that I would never really get to the bottom with this man. Like he never would let his guard down. Not to anyone. I couldn't blame him, not in this world. And as I stretched my hand out to touch his arm, his skin was still cold.


End file.
